What a glorious hole!

Thanks to Swinger for the nifty shot and Ford Fairlane for some contemplative
words of wisdom – both contributions quite profound in their own special way!

LIFE – Some Words of Wisdom
1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the Person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
13. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.
14. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? D@mn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
15. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

16. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

17. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
18. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first saw it.
19. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
20. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
22. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a d*ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

24. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
25. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

26. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
27. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
28. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my @ss everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
30. Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get off your ass and open the door.

Log on Logophiles – last day of the week coming up and Brisvegas has another long weekend – Yeh!   x mp


3 thoughts on “What a glorious hole!

  1. 5 – I've owned only one set of fitted sheets in my life because I couldn't answer that one either.16 – Great idea. If only your phone would send back a message along the lines of "I don't want to speak to you now. I will not want to speak to you later today, or tomorrow, or at any other time. Fuck off."25 – You and I grew up with cartoons after school; kids today have Twitter 24 hours a day. Where's the intellectual stimulation in messages of 140 characters?

  2. PS:27 – lone cyclists who hold up buses carrying 40-50 commuters while they groan their way up Beaufort Street will find an extra warm corner waiting for them in Hell.

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