So, last week i visit the organic butchers for the usual top up.
I arrive deep in thought, “duck and orange sausages? beef sausages?
pork chops?”. Suddenly i hear an unfamiliar voice.
“Hi there, what can we get for you today?”
I slowly raise my head towards the top of the cabinet
and there is THE NEW BUTCHER!
Absolutely, outrageously, sensationally good looking.
In fact, obscenely good looking. It’s almost too much for
one suburban monkey mom to withstand.
I am overwhelmingly compelled to leap the counter
and have my way with the New Butcher.
I suddenly see myself rolling about the
butcher shop floor, kissing hard and deep,
whilst we undress each other with abandon,
knocking over the knives and sausage machine
but not giving a damn because we are both
barely breathing in solid anticipation
of his chorizo
entering my sausage tunnel.
But instead, i answer, ” Hi there, i think i’ll get 6 thin beef sausages,
2 of the duck and orange and half a kilo of mince please.”
As I watch his magnificently sculpted arms through the glass cabinet
gathering my order, i belatedly realise that i am now shamelessly
staring at his arse as he walks away to get me a bag.
He is insanely gorgeous. He suddenly looks up and smiles at me and
on the inside i possibly die a little as i realise that me and the slayer shall
only ever discuss the meat in the cabinet, not the meat inside
his incredibly well fitting jeans.