Amazing Christmas Gifts 2009

A Bird in the Hand

Every now and again, one receives a gift that renders you speechless.

It was my turn today.

It was given with such wonderful intentions,


that cannot detract from the fact that it is

quite possibly the most tasteless thing

i believe i have ever received.

The detailed resin work, the realistic colouring, the egg coming from the back of the bird that appears on first glance to be a swollen malfunctioning testicle…..

What truly seals the deal is the appearance of what was either

intended to be bird poo dripping from the seagulls back passage


an appalling lack of attention to detail

at the completion of the birds manufacturing journey.

A few things crossed my mind after I unwrapped this gift:

1. Why would anyone produce a seagull ornament in the first place?

2. Is there a secret group of seagull loving freaks out there

that encourage this type of behaviour?

3. Are they specifically into pooing birds ?

4. Was there nothing shiny and pretty that you could have given me?

I hate to appear ungrateful but WTF am i to do with an ornamental farking seagull? Anyhow, Onnie, you mentioned getting everything i deserved for Christmas…. apparently i am resonating birds having bowel movements in my universal energy.

2010 is now officially making me nervous!


4 thoughts on “Amazing Christmas Gifts 2009

  1. is truly marvellousgiven that all I got for Christmas was one book and a hat, I am deeply envious that someone put so much thought into this giftdo they do a magpie, I wonder?you really need the full collection arranged in a line along the kitchen window sill, with a few broken beaks where they have been accidentally knocked into the sink.

  2. well skinkaroo, I am working on your outstanding suggestion of a full collection on the sill. i scoured the local crazy clarks store yesterday for what i was certain would be a treasure trove of fellow bird ornaments. Alas, they were obviously far more popular that even i could imagine. not a bird in sight.I will push on however. I am not that easily defeated. Photos of my success shall follow and please consider my collection, your collection.It's the least i can do when you were so ripped off this year in the present department 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s