A ventriloquist is touring his act.
Doing his show one night with his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde shouts, “i’ve heard enough of your farkin stupid blonde jokes!
what does the colour of a persons hair have to do with their worth as a human being?
its men like you who keep woman like me from being respect!”
The red faced ventriloquist begins to apologise, but the blonde shouts, “you stay out of this mate!
I’m talking to that little fucking wanker on your knee!”
2 Hookers on a street corner.
1st asks “Have you ever been pulled by the fuzz?”
2nd replies, “No, but i’ve been swung around by the tits before”.
A young man goes to pick up his girlfriend at her parents house for a night out.
He knocks on the door and she answers and says to her boyfriend “i just have to go out for 10 minutes just go in and sit with my parents and watch the footy till i get back. And don’t worry about having to talk to them cause they are deaf and dumb”, so he says if that’s the case i can do that.
He goes and sits down and the girlfriend leaves.
After five minutes of silence watching the football the mother stands up pulls down her pants and throws her glass of red wine on her pussy then sits back down.
He tries to ignore what he has just seen then the old man stands up, pulls down his pants gives himself a flogging in front of him then pulls out a box of matches takes out 1 match sits down and stares at it.
The boyfriends sitting there disgusted by what he has just seen and tries to hide his face, then bolts for the knock at the door.
He opens it to his girlfriend and says “thank god you’re here, your parents are sick people”.
She says “why is that?”.
“Well your mum pulled her pants down threw red wine on her pussy, then your dad had a flog in front of me and now he’s sitting there staring at a match”.
She says “i told you they were deaf and dumb”.
He says “what’s that got to do with what they did?”
She says “you have to read the sign language”.
He says “what sign language?”
She says ” well mum said get the cunt a drink and dad said leave the wanker alone and watch the match!”
Video is embedded – check on blog to watch!